“How can I stop my ex-partner taking our child on holiday?”

The school holidays can be a difficult time for separated parents. As well as having to balance work and home life, there may be the added complication of not being entirely comfortable with a former partner’s plans for spending time with your child.

Concerns are sometimes warranted. Where a parent is worried about their child’s safety or wellbeing it’s best to speak to a family law solicitor straightaway; there are safeguarding steps that can be taken.

In other situations, here’s our advice:

Understand the law around ‘permission’

When one parent wants to take their child on a foreign holiday, everyone with parental responsibility must consent. (An exception to this is if there is a court order in place which says the child should live with the parent who’s proposing the holiday, in which case they can take the child abroad for up to 28 days without getting permission.) If you have parental responsibility, you could withhold permission for your ex-partner to travel with your child. He or she would then have to apply to the court for the holiday to go ahead.

If you live in England or Wales and the holiday is to be in one of those countries, your ex-partner would not need permission, as long as there isn’t a court order in place preventing them from spending that time with your child. Other parts of the UK are subject to the permission rule.

Check your reasons for not wanting the holiday to happen

Are they valid? Think carefully about the holiday and what it would mean to and for your child. Perhaps you’d prefer to have your child at home with you, but that by itself may not be a good reason to prevent them from holidaying with their other parent.

Find out more about the holiday

Being informed is key and as a parent you’ll want to know more than the dates and destination. Once you have all the information, you may feel differently about the holiday. If you can, have a conversation with your ex-partner about any missing details: transport plans, the hotel name, room arrangements, activities, how you could keep in touch with your child, etc.

Talk to your ex-partner about any specific concerns

Perhaps you’re worried that your child isn’t a strong swimmer, or that they might be anxious on the flight. Voicing concerns to your ex-partner in a way that acknowledges their ability to take care of your child can be useful. You may be able to find solutions together or, at the very least, help them understand your reticence.

Think about it from your child’s perspective

Of course there will be situations in which a planned holiday should be questioned. There will be times when it won’t be in a child’s best interests for it to go ahead. But there will also be times when a holiday with one parent will be a hugely positive experience. So put yourself in your child’s shoes and consider their best interests above everything else.

There aren’t right and wrong answers here, and every family’s circumstances are different.  For advice about any holiday-related family issues, or any other family law matters, contact our team on 01264 353411 or email on family@bsandi.co.uk.